Pain is temporary, failure lasts forever

Well what can i say? I am sitting here in the best kind of pain anyone can be in…Victorious pain I am sitting here and every time my leg hurts or gets a spasm i look up to my shirt and medal i received achieving our latest challenge The Brisbane marathon and a feeling of pride and satisfaction rushes over me.

Im getting a bit ahead of myself i am guessing, so let’s go back to the start.

A week ago today i was pretty disappointed with the lack of work and feeling a bit down, and knew i had to do something to bounce out of it so when i received an email brochure of upcoming sporting events I knew this was just what i needed, and on opening the email, one race seemed to stick out more than others, “The Brisbane’s 150 Anniversary Marathon”. When i went upstairs to tell Sarah of it” her first comment was “you’re crazy, the best we have done is a 10 klm race” proving once again she is not just beautiful, she is Intelligent also, but within a day she had warmed to the idea.

Within a day it had gone from not an “If “or a “could” or a “maybe” to a “we are!!!” and that’s when it all began. The excitement was there (how awesome, a decent challenge) but then the fears started to creep in “ can i do this?” and how many people have died doing a marathon when there not ready?” and of course the “ you know you have not trained for this”, and as they crept in i tried to sweep them under the blanket and think of other things.

Then the night before the race i had a real bad time of it. The voice of fear was no longer a voice but yelling!!!. Sarah was not only beautiful she was right; we were not ready for this. So i voiced a couple of fears on my facebook account like (Brooke Honig 15 hours till the big race….what have i done!!!!) and went up stairs to attempt sleep.

When i awoke after a terrible night sleep i was panicky and nervous, i knew i couldn’t back out of it but also knew, or thought i was not ready for it either, so i made myself a coffee and went down stairs, so as to not erupt over the slightest thing. And when i turned on my computer i was informed summer had officially arrived and today was going to be 32C (89.6F) GREAT!!!!! And then i found this as a response to my facebook comment

Linda AwakeAtLast “Don’t get too worked up about it. You can run/walk all you want. It IS a huge undertaking – so what? The HUGE goals are the ones that keep you on your toes, right? But I know how you are feeling. I kept thinking the same thing as I was preparing to jump out of the plane… You are going to be just fine – listen to your body and when it says you’ve given all you have to give – then you’re done! FEEL VERY PROUD FOR DOING THIS!!! Can’t wait to hear from you afterward!”

This is just what i needed to see and read, so with this new found wisdom and the voices still there, we hoped in Bryn’s car and away we went.

On arrival the nervousness did indeed get worse and the excitement and anticipation of the start mixed into each other, all these young guys and girls getting around looking like they would finish the race in a blink of an eye, but i was not here to compete against them, i was here to compete against myself.

So we line up for the race, as the group grows in size,we slowly move our way down the back of the pack so as to not hold anyone up, then it happened….we were off!!! To start with i felt good and like i knew what i was doing, left foot was landing just in front of the right as it was lifting up, yup all good, then about five klms in I felt the thing i was dreading, my left hip (which i have been having troubles with flared up) just to remind me it was still there.

My mind went to all the worst paces, “how could this happen”, “this is a sign”, “yup you will fail” then it hit me and hit me hard “Pain is temporary, failure lasts forever!!!!” So with this i changed my pace and kept on going, but i was still having trouble breathing which i just couldn’t understand.

Sarah picked up on it and hit the nail on the head with “in your anticipation you are hyperventilating, slow your breathing “and she was right so i calmed it down. We got to the 10 klm marker and Sarah said “well we have made it this far anything more is a bonus” and she was so right, at this point we were sore but well and truly still in the game, we were not near any of the runners but happy we were there and doing it together and in a weird way every k after that 10k marker felt awesome, in pain but awesome.

Seeing a whole new part of Brisbane we had never seen and also seeing the city wake up around us was brilliant as we made our way up to the Brisbane botanical garden, then down by the river where to our right the abseilers were getting started for the day climbing the rock face. However it was about at the 17 klm marker disappointments started to happen, first up we were miss directed by the course Marshal and sent to the finish line, …..but we had not finished so we made sure we didn’t cross and ran around to see the marshal, then the marshals we asked could not tell us how to get back on the race to complete it till five minutes later.

Then as we where around the 23 klm stage, bodies sore and sunburnt , one of the officials informs us they have had to close up the drinks stages and that we could continue on if we wished but there would be no medical or rehydration available to us if we chose to continue on ….which we did.

It was really starting to wear on us as sun was beating down and fatigue started to show its signs,then we realised that they had also taken away the direction signs along the route…..quick thinking made me look at my Garmin 310 XTscreen, and look through the GPS run route..Fortunately the second lap was a repeat of the first so all we had to do was stay on the line we had previously created and we were fine. A little more time consuming but we would still finish.

By the time we had gotten to the 30 klm mark our bodies were really starting to wear, and Sarah passed on a comment of we could finish now, but we both knew this was not going to happen, so we pressed on up over the bridge, back into the Botanical Gardens and back over the River.

By this point our bodies and minds were so far beyond it is wasn’t funny, with the crap set up of the race and the punishment we had put our bodies through we were only going on heart and wanting to finish what we had started.

Three K from the finish line an official rocked up to us in her car and informed us the race was over and had been packed up, and if we wanted she could give us a lift back!!!! Fighting back the anger of having no finish line to cross and the insult of being asked if we wanted a lift in the damn car 3 ks from the finish, we kept on going and pushed on.

Later in discussion we both agreed it was those last three k,s that were the killer yet probably the ones that most defined us and the ones we know we could not turn away from. Battered and broken in body and almost spirit i can honestly say we crossed that line with nothing left, but there was no cheer, no crowds of people cheering us on, no banner to run through or finish line box to take a photo at, no podium…there was nothing but us …achieving our goal and completing our own personal challenge…it really made no difference to us, yes it would have been nice to have all the ticker tape and glory of crossing that line with cheers, but the only people who were there where the ones most important….us as we completed our Challenge and more than that, see, and support each other as we put our bodies and minds on the line and go through extremes that would have broken others, and experience pain and disappointment we never thought possible, yet come out together at the other end victorious.

As we sat down and had a cold drink an official arrived to give us our medal and inform us how proud we should be, and how sorry she was they seemed to have given away my official finishers t-shirt (the one when you pre book they take your size and put it next to your name for when you finish) and how sorry she was they had to give me one three sizes too small. So as a sum up Yes the race was poorly managed and poorly run and they seem to have no duty of care towards there runners, but as a life experience ??

We would not have missed it for the world.

The future looks bright, actually it looks totally AWESOME as there is absolutely nothing we cant face!!!!!

Advertisement