2011 lets do it a little diffrent

Well let’s say good bye to 2010, and take the time to appreciate all the lessons we were supposed to learn so we don’t continue the same mistakes into 2011.

For me its was a hell of a year , i seemed to be running the whole year from behind the eight ball , and in turn trying to play catch up and lived in fear . I settled both for work environments and relationships which i just should not have done.

Pretty much everything in my life at the moment i have settled for , the house im in the car i drive , you name it i settled and this is where inspiration i believe has died .

One should never settle, as settling is the first step of dying , as to settle means you have given up or believe you are not worthy of what you had your sights on which is a sad way to live a life.

We all need something to strive for , something to get out of bed in the morning for  and without that life is just sad

Why did i settle in a relationship? i have spent hours pondering just that , and have come up with , yes im lonely , yes i don’t feel worthy , and yes i really didn’t like me. If i had someone bellow my standards there was no push , no reason to exercise ,, no reason to get off the couch , no reason to stop after three beers instead of a carton , no reason to fix the things in me that niggle at me when i don’t . And probably most important at all no reason to plan and build a future .

So why would i just settle? , because i didn’t like me, i did not forgive me for past and held on to anger which is unhealthy. This may sound simple but i honestly believe it is harder for some so its a process i am doing now on a daily basis.

So how will i battle this?

First thing is loving me again and knowing i am worthy of so much more

Looking after me and my goals , start small but start

Instead of looking at loneliness, see it as solitude to work on being the best me i can be

Build incredible amazing friendships with those i admire

Live each day accountable and make sure the next day is always better

Spend less time in others drama’s as all they do is drain you , and time and time again those people will always have drama

Be accountable for me

Keep a clean house , a clean house helps keep a clean mind , and being a bachelor is no excuse

These are my steps to the future , they may appear small steps to some but ones i can move with

Lets have an awesome 2011

2010 More lessons learned in the most testing year so far

So the year is almost over, and I cant say I am upset about that.

What is it that they say?  Another year older another year wiser?? Yeah but everything comes at a cost, however it is important for me to say I am grateful for the experiences I have had and lessons I have learned no matter the cost, I am still here and still standing strong.

This year alone I have had trust and faith broken, both in my personal life and professional which has hurt far more than I am fully prepared to mention, I have tried to battle through with injuries with training till other parts of my life consumed it, I have both had a good life with a nice roof over my head, and also been homeless living in a car with my dog.

I have been working without pay and have traveled distances to keep working and not give up only still not to be paid….yet I am still standing.

See one of the reasons this has become so prominate in my mind today is today is Remembrance Day. Today is the day we stop on the eleventh month on the eleventh day at the eleventh hour to remember those who fought for our freedoms and life as we know it and those who paid the ultimate price with there life to allow us this luxury

No matter what your situation or circumstance we really do not have the right to complain to much because if it wasn’t for the bravery of these men we would be living a far worse life.

These men fought for our right to be free and to live the life we want, enjoy the freedoms we have become too complacent with, and allows us to do what ever we want to do and be what ever we want to be. Your life is your own ….If you wish to go out and be the best in any field, regardless if its personal or professional, sport or family you are allowed that right.

If you believe it to be your calling in life to sit on a couch and watch tv 24 / 7 , hell you can even do that, but I prefer to look at all the opportunities that this life in this country has to offer, and look for my path within it.

From now on instead of bitching , how un fair, or why me , I will make every attempt to consider the price these men paid and how life could have been and be grateful for the life I have been given, and choose to live each day moving forward to honor them.

We owe it to these men and there families who experienced the sacrifice personally to turn off the tv, go out and not only enjoy the life we have no matter what it is and celebrate it, while remembering them, no matter what our situation is.

So on that note, I am going out for a truly aussie day , I will call into the RSL and have a beer with which every serviceman is there, then down to the coast to enjoy a good Australian day …cheers

 

Aus

Holiday or just a moment to pause and clear my head????

Well i am sitting here after my second day back from training since the accident and at a complete loss.  I only had three weeks of so how did i get so weak in that time frame?

I look back over the past 6 months and all the challenges i have had to face, and just suck it up and keep moving forward, all the knock backs, sleepless nights and confusion in the search for clarity.

All the books i have read and research i have done, yet nothing supplies a direct answer, just push forward. This frustrated me even more as i looked harder and harder, yet still no answer.

So i sucked it up and threw myself into training and work, and one thing i have noticed about me is when i focus on something  , I’m like a heat seeking missile in that i just lock on and just push harder and harder until something breaks which obviously is not a good thing.

Then sit back and have the normal human thoughts of “ why me” and an ounce of self pity to go with it, instead of focusing on what i am grateful for, i wear myself down with self anger at my failings.

It is a fact i am my own worst critic, which is not always a bad thing, but it does cloud my mind and avoid seeing the obvious.

Only now kicking back am i realising what i haven’t seen and what i haven’t been doing and how i have allowed my mind to be cluttered.

I haven’t been Grateful for the gift of life, or the gifts of friendship , or seeing a beautiful sunrise or sunset, i haven’t taken pride in my “never give in” attitude or my never back down approach to it.

Or that every time you feel knocked down or down and out there is always a lesson to be learned and a valuable one, and that every time i do get knocked down i ALWAYS get back up again.

Why is it these are the thing i admire in other people but ignore within thy self?

I have come to the conclusion i am confusing myself by holding onto old dreams old thoughts and wishes that are not right now

I need to take more time and sit back to smell the roses and gather my thoughts , but in an honest way, not a harsh reprimanding way.

Where will this road i am on take me? At this moment i can honestly say i do not know , my goals and dreams have fallen to the side lines since March, being in a relationship i know is still strong with the right person ,in me but the marriage and raising a family for the moment is not as strong.

I am determined the next person who enters my life will be the right one , and have looked at who and the types of person i have attracted in the past to learn from the mistakes and not take them forward with me . I will not settle on this

But will i be here in six months in Australia? Or doing what i do now ? To be honest i do not know, i know i will continue with training as it keeps my mind and body sharp , but for the rest i cannot say in all honesty or heart that i know.

But see this is a good thing, it is a flushing of old dreams, old emotions .old thoughts which allows anew door to open to New Adventures and new Dreams and that is definitely something to look forward to. As long as i am true to myself and honor that which is me and listen to my heart, all will be as it should be.

So for now and the next few months probably , i will allow myself to be open to new things , new thoughts and new possibilities  as the new refreshed version of me grows and becomes whole….and i will learn when it is appropriate to be hard on myself , and when its time to sit back and smell the roses and see how i am really travelling

Keep an eye out , you might just see me ….i will be the guy grinning on his new adventure

Welcoming 2010 with open arms

Looking up this page first thing that comes to mind is “ Damn its been along time since i posted” So we all said go bye to 2009 , some harder than others ( i know i was one of em ) and yet i am still to meet anyone who can tell me they had such a great year. Some say it has crushed them some say it ruined them and some depending on the time you get to the Bar have drank so hard they have achieved not being able to remember it ….. I prefer to look at it as an educational year , a year full of lessons learned which move me further on down the road. I do honestly believe the lessons you don’t learn from your are destined to repeat. And there is no way on hell am i prepared to repeat that one So what lessons did i learn? Well the scary thing is i don’t think i really learned anything new, but got some good grounding and understanding of my own morals and ethics and how i don’t really apply them as much as i should. So this year i am focused on rebuilding the old me , the true me , with all its flaws and traits being worked upon and bring my character , morals, ethics and standards not only back to the front but highlighted. I have grown a lot over the past years, last year probably especially, and i have done some things i am extremely proud of yet would probably mean nothing to others. Entering and finishing a 10 klm, and a Marathon and finishing is definitely a high light and the awesome consuming feeling of doing the volunteer work with the Lions is burning strong. To look in a kids eyes and see you made a positive change for the good in their lives is the best feeling of all. SO what is it im removing this year?

- Negativity

- Guilt

- Anger

- Fear

- Distraction

- Lieing , even the little white ones

- Debt

- Ignorance

- Pain

- Junk

- Excuses

I am sure there will be more and i will add them as they come up but that’s a good thing

So what am i taking on board this year with a Vengeance?

- Positivity

- Honesty at the core with myself and other

- Focus on myself ( i cant help everyone and i can others better when im focused and fixed)

- Integrity

- Passion

- Love for life

- Focus

- Health

- Confidence

- Dignity -

Integrity

- Living by my morals and virtues

- Fitness

- Doing something for the fight against cancer

- Fun !!!!!!!!!!

This year i am going to focus on what it is i want and more to the point how am i going to make it happen. Also i am going to work on being emotionally and physically more independent, having the ability to rise without the aid of others will be the best feeling. Looking at those i spend time with and seeing where there focus is, seeing if it is alike to mine and if not removing it. Educating myself on a daily basis and writing down what i have learned from life in my Journal Making sure i live each day to the maximum and make every day count Well to me this is a good start and i will keep you posted on my progress

Living in Challenging times!!!!

Well as some who read this might know i have been going through a very challenging time frame as of late. And to top it off i tore my calf muscle 4 weeks ago. I was living alone at the time and could hardly move in a two storey house were every movement involved crutches. Yup life was very challenging indeed, laying and sleeping on the couch and arguing with myself i wasn’t hungry so i wouldn’t have to go through the pain of using the crutches two sizes too big to get me to the kitchen to actually make something, and showering on crutches is an experience i hope none of you ever need to experience. Going to the Doctors was a great time also being told i would be on crutches for at least 2 weeks and couldn’t run or train for eight otherwise i would risk doing worse damage. Laying on the couch it didn’t take long for my mind to go to self pity land “why me “ “where are those who care about me? Why is no one helping ?” yup fell right into it, and if someone phoned i made sure they felt my pain also. I was not in a good place emotionally or physically at all. With time, healing started to happen and this is where i learned when too listen to my body and environment and when not to. I was testing my leg, walking short distances without crutches, like to the toilet and shower and kitchen. It hurt a little at first but felt good to be mobile again. So this evolved to going a bit further everyday.. walking down the stairs or to the letter box to check the mail, eventually to seeing how driving was. I got in the car in a sweat, slowly reversing with my mind thinking what to do if the leg gave in and went for a drive in a deserted part of town at 3am on a week night so i knew there would be no traffic or pedestrians. Other than a light strain feeling for a little bit all went well and it was a successful experiment, finally i had regained my INDIPENDANCE!!!!!!!! So after week three, all was going well, short works were going down easier and easier, and my confidence and inner voices were very pleased. And this is where the real challenge happened. I had inner conflict. From the Doctor saying don’t risk it you will do more damage maybe perminate, to my inner self saying “hey you are doing this easy, why not break into a light jog? Why not go a bit further or harder??? “but instead of listening to it , i continued on with my journey to repair. Each week going a little further and a little harder and stoping at the slightest twinge, i DECIDED not to sabotage my success of healing or repair. I decided that little voice that was trying to push me to go harder was the same damn voice which when i was running un injured was telling me “ you have no more stop” or “slow down you can’t do it “ or “ it is a hot day why are we running past the hotel, we could go in for a cold refreshing beer and then continue” the same voice which was sabotaging my progress in health was now also sabotaging my healing, not to mention the pain and anguish it put me through giving me the “poor me “ issues when i was laid up on the couch all alone.. Once i realised this, it was easy to ignore it, this is my demon who is out to stop me no matter what, this is the voice i never ever listen too. I have learned i do not need anyone , i have my strength and power to get through everything, and that the only person i answer too is myself. So now i am slowly returning to running and enjoying it, i might only be doing 2 klm’s every second day and slowly BUT i am doing 2 klm’s Every Second Day and each week it will grow. Sometimes the little voice are just not right to listen too……..

Eating a 10 yr old Frog and loving every bite!!!!

For those of you who don’t know, i have been having a real ruff time of life lately. Just nothing seems to fall were i want, and it has hurt me painfully in self esteem and motivation and a few other areas.

I have studied personal development now for a few years (hence the Brian Tracy reference as a title) to which i have been putting these things into practice.

Think positive

Know what you want and go after it

Never give in or back down

Be clear, concise and direct

And i have been getting super frustrated when things don’t work out. I haven’t had a work contract in months and i feel like less of a man for it.

I have taken on a new Passion which is Triathlon training, and as much as i love it in the last few months i have allowed it to become a distraction. How you might say?.

We’ll see it is simple, because everything else in my life was not working and not going well i threw myself into training where for a time i was getting results. Problem is now i am not even training because i have woken up to the fact of i am using training as a distraction to other responsibilities and pains in my life.

Yes this works for short term but if you do not address the issues as they arise and deal with them they end up like a cancer and infect every other part of your life. So this is where i was at.

So i sat down and looked at the things i have avoided which could have created this chain of events or this bad karma depending on your beliefs.

The problem is i am juggling far too many things, since problems with finding contracts and bills coming in , i have been doing the royal juggling act, thinking like a man that “ i will be able to handle this when work comes in “ and the scary thing since i have sat down and been completely honest with myself there are a lot of issues i have not addressed , even one from over ten years ago i didn’t address because at the time i couldn’t due to lack of funds and pain related to it and the “ i will be able to handle this when work comes in “ yet always said i would and never did.

How many times can someone promise themselves to do something, and not follow through can you get away with before there is a reaction because of it?. And at what cost?

How does one not recognise the feeling of worthlessness, self belief and faith, and pure disappointment due to lack of honesty to himself? And due to this not see the ripple effect it has on the relationship you have with others?

This truly is an ugly circle, i was not only in but had jumped onto with both feet, so i was sitting here wondering how to fix this? I have the list , but no work nor funds to fix it. But have i told them that?

And if so in which order do i start to call? Just then a bit of a Audio book i bought years ago hit me .

It’s called “Eat that Frog by Brian Tracy “ and is excellent yet somehow i have managed to clutter my mind with everything else to remember it.

Mark Twain once wrote “ If the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog , you can go through the day with the satisfaction that its probably the worst thing that will happen to you all day long “.

Your Frog is the biggest most important task the one you will tend to procrastinate on if you don’t do something about it. It’s also possibly that it’s the one task, which can have the greatest positive impact on your life and results at the moment.

The basics of the Audio is that not to put off the things you dread, as there will never be the so called right time to get to it….the only way to regain the quality of your life and self esteem is to go for it every morning and start the day by doing the thing you most fear or dislike on your list first.

Now the basic rule of Frog eating is if you have 2 frogs, always eat the ugliest one first, the one you put of the longest or dread the most of all.

So i reworked my list honestly and reviewed it completely and put the most dreaded thing first and then so on and so on…

The weird thing was as i was sitting back reviewing my list the number one issue there was over ten years old. I thought about all the lies i have told myself about it over the years and how i have avoided taking control or responsibility for it without recognizing it, and in turn have felt inadequate and inferior.

Well that was it, so with a deep Gasp i grabbed the phone and called them to set this straight, nervous and worried i told of my situation and explained how i got here, and how i want to fix it but due to my position was not sure of the right way to go about it and asked if they could assist me in it. To my surprise they were more than happy to help out. They informed me to write them a letter and send it to them explaining the situation and how it has rolled on and they would come back with a step by step plan for fixing it…..

You’re kidding right?? This thing i have carried for 10 years and have feared and dreaded was this easily fixed? And these people that i assumed were money eating people spitting assholes were really this friendly?? Why the hell did i not do this sooner?

So that was it , with my new found education and knowledge i sat down and took action by writing the letter as directed then hoping in the car and posting off.

I can’t believe the amount of crap and baggage i have put MYSELF through saying “ i will tend to it later” “now is not the right time “ “ i have other priorities and commitments “ all for nothing.

Anyways i can’t stay here talking about it …i have phone calls to make

Pain is temporary, failure lasts forever

Well what can i say? I am sitting here in the best kind of pain anyone can be in…Victorious pain I am sitting here and every time my leg hurts or gets a spasm i look up to my shirt and medal i received achieving our latest challenge The Brisbane marathon and a feeling of pride and satisfaction rushes over me.

Im getting a bit ahead of myself i am guessing, so let’s go back to the start.

A week ago today i was pretty disappointed with the lack of work and feeling a bit down, and knew i had to do something to bounce out of it so when i received an email brochure of upcoming sporting events I knew this was just what i needed, and on opening the email, one race seemed to stick out more than others, “The Brisbane’s 150 Anniversary Marathon”. When i went upstairs to tell Sarah of it” her first comment was “you’re crazy, the best we have done is a 10 klm race” proving once again she is not just beautiful, she is Intelligent also, but within a day she had warmed to the idea.

Within a day it had gone from not an “If “or a “could” or a “maybe” to a “we are!!!” and that’s when it all began. The excitement was there (how awesome, a decent challenge) but then the fears started to creep in “ can i do this?” and how many people have died doing a marathon when there not ready?” and of course the “ you know you have not trained for this”, and as they crept in i tried to sweep them under the blanket and think of other things.

Then the night before the race i had a real bad time of it. The voice of fear was no longer a voice but yelling!!!. Sarah was not only beautiful she was right; we were not ready for this. So i voiced a couple of fears on my facebook account like (Brooke Honig 15 hours till the big race….what have i done!!!!) and went up stairs to attempt sleep.

When i awoke after a terrible night sleep i was panicky and nervous, i knew i couldn’t back out of it but also knew, or thought i was not ready for it either, so i made myself a coffee and went down stairs, so as to not erupt over the slightest thing. And when i turned on my computer i was informed summer had officially arrived and today was going to be 32C (89.6F) GREAT!!!!! And then i found this as a response to my facebook comment

Linda AwakeAtLast “Don’t get too worked up about it. You can run/walk all you want. It IS a huge undertaking – so what? The HUGE goals are the ones that keep you on your toes, right? But I know how you are feeling. I kept thinking the same thing as I was preparing to jump out of the plane… You are going to be just fine – listen to your body and when it says you’ve given all you have to give – then you’re done! FEEL VERY PROUD FOR DOING THIS!!! Can’t wait to hear from you afterward!”

This is just what i needed to see and read, so with this new found wisdom and the voices still there, we hoped in Bryn’s car and away we went.

On arrival the nervousness did indeed get worse and the excitement and anticipation of the start mixed into each other, all these young guys and girls getting around looking like they would finish the race in a blink of an eye, but i was not here to compete against them, i was here to compete against myself.

So we line up for the race, as the group grows in size,we slowly move our way down the back of the pack so as to not hold anyone up, then it happened….we were off!!! To start with i felt good and like i knew what i was doing, left foot was landing just in front of the right as it was lifting up, yup all good, then about five klms in I felt the thing i was dreading, my left hip (which i have been having troubles with flared up) just to remind me it was still there.

My mind went to all the worst paces, “how could this happen”, “this is a sign”, “yup you will fail” then it hit me and hit me hard “Pain is temporary, failure lasts forever!!!!” So with this i changed my pace and kept on going, but i was still having trouble breathing which i just couldn’t understand.

Sarah picked up on it and hit the nail on the head with “in your anticipation you are hyperventilating, slow your breathing “and she was right so i calmed it down. We got to the 10 klm marker and Sarah said “well we have made it this far anything more is a bonus” and she was so right, at this point we were sore but well and truly still in the game, we were not near any of the runners but happy we were there and doing it together and in a weird way every k after that 10k marker felt awesome, in pain but awesome.

Seeing a whole new part of Brisbane we had never seen and also seeing the city wake up around us was brilliant as we made our way up to the Brisbane botanical garden, then down by the river where to our right the abseilers were getting started for the day climbing the rock face. However it was about at the 17 klm marker disappointments started to happen, first up we were miss directed by the course Marshal and sent to the finish line, …..but we had not finished so we made sure we didn’t cross and ran around to see the marshal, then the marshals we asked could not tell us how to get back on the race to complete it till five minutes later.

Then as we where around the 23 klm stage, bodies sore and sunburnt , one of the officials informs us they have had to close up the drinks stages and that we could continue on if we wished but there would be no medical or rehydration available to us if we chose to continue on ….which we did.

It was really starting to wear on us as sun was beating down and fatigue started to show its signs,then we realised that they had also taken away the direction signs along the route…..quick thinking made me look at my Garmin 310 XTscreen, and look through the GPS run route..Fortunately the second lap was a repeat of the first so all we had to do was stay on the line we had previously created and we were fine. A little more time consuming but we would still finish.

By the time we had gotten to the 30 klm mark our bodies were really starting to wear, and Sarah passed on a comment of we could finish now, but we both knew this was not going to happen, so we pressed on up over the bridge, back into the Botanical Gardens and back over the River.

By this point our bodies and minds were so far beyond it is wasn’t funny, with the crap set up of the race and the punishment we had put our bodies through we were only going on heart and wanting to finish what we had started.

Three K from the finish line an official rocked up to us in her car and informed us the race was over and had been packed up, and if we wanted she could give us a lift back!!!! Fighting back the anger of having no finish line to cross and the insult of being asked if we wanted a lift in the damn car 3 ks from the finish, we kept on going and pushed on.

Later in discussion we both agreed it was those last three k,s that were the killer yet probably the ones that most defined us and the ones we know we could not turn away from. Battered and broken in body and almost spirit i can honestly say we crossed that line with nothing left, but there was no cheer, no crowds of people cheering us on, no banner to run through or finish line box to take a photo at, no podium…there was nothing but us …achieving our goal and completing our own personal challenge…it really made no difference to us, yes it would have been nice to have all the ticker tape and glory of crossing that line with cheers, but the only people who were there where the ones most important….us as we completed our Challenge and more than that, see, and support each other as we put our bodies and minds on the line and go through extremes that would have broken others, and experience pain and disappointment we never thought possible, yet come out together at the other end victorious.

As we sat down and had a cold drink an official arrived to give us our medal and inform us how proud we should be, and how sorry she was they seemed to have given away my official finishers t-shirt (the one when you pre book they take your size and put it next to your name for when you finish) and how sorry she was they had to give me one three sizes too small. So as a sum up Yes the race was poorly managed and poorly run and they seem to have no duty of care towards there runners, but as a life experience ??

We would not have missed it for the world.

The future looks bright, actually it looks totally AWESOME as there is absolutely nothing we cant face!!!!!

Why do i like Lance?

Lets face it the man is everything that we all aspire to be as a man.Siting here at 12 am watching the last tour de france and i just cant get over this guy.

He brakes all the tour de frances records then a few years latter while watching the Olympics decides he still has the power to get up ther with the best but also he sees it as the best way to get the word on cancer out there.

He is raceing without drawing a wage just to promote awareness, and he is an awesome ambassador for the sport but also for all those out there suffering cancer or just want to do better for themselves.

Remember how we where always told as kids to lead by example? well what a perfect example. My hat is off to the man and i support his future endevours

This weeks Challenge!!!!

Well i have just got out of the bath where i was drinking some champagne and reading a new book i have picked up called “ The Naked Entrepreneur: A Millionaire’s Journey from Fear to True Wealth ”which at this point i am finding very good. Like i have read many books on where we come from in our reactions, ad do with come from a place of fear or a place of truth, but i have not come across a book that has put it in a way i can actually relate to. Anyways i will get back more in greater detail at another time but it has driven a few things home to me and given me a few things to put into practice. Like adding two columns to my diary/Journal, one for truth and the other for fear and as things pop up or happen i tick which i believe i came from when it happened and how i dealt with it. It is surrounded by how much energy i am wasting on talks and seeing the waste involved which i think is pretty cool . Also tomorrow i D Day, i give up smoking. Giving up smoking is easy i have done it several times!!! Ok on a serious note i think the reasons why i have failed at this in the past is that i have been pressured to give up by others yet not really wanting to give up myself. Well i guess i have finally come to a time in my life where it is what i want to do. See i have gotten to a point in my training where i am not really improving at this is obviously mostly due to the smoking. So i have to make a judgement call and decide which i am going to give up , tri training or smoking. It really is a no brainer, i have put far to much time money and effort into my training not to continue especially before actually entering a tri. But there are other reasons also so here they are

MY REASONS FOR GIVING UP

The best in life for me is yet to come so i have to stop crippling myself for when it happens

I want my children one day when they are ready to re enter my life and i will be at my fittest for when that happens

One thing that is important to me is marriage and to have children and a loving caring family so this is where my personal commitment to that starts

To take my fitness to the highest level i can without excuses or deliberate reasons

To stop using smokes as a crutch and stop living in fear…of what will happen if i give up or how will i handle issues once i give up ……I just will handle it simple

RESOURCES I was given a book by my nephew a few years back by Allan Carr Easyway to give up ….last time i seriously gave up was after reading this i also have the audio of it Quitline….In the past i have not used this resource as i find it weak but i will be giving it a go

When i need a smoke i will either go for a walk or do push ups

If all else fails i will go to the doctor and look into there options or try acupuncture

LIVESTRONG.com a good support resource

Also i am going green starting tomorrow also which means i pretty much only drink water …except for my morning coffee and only eat green growing food which are obviously vegetables for ten days . I did this once before and felt awesome So there ya have it ,

i will update as we go

Chapter one Of the things not to do before you die

This morning i sat and read yet another article on the 100 things you should do before you die and it got me thinking. If we were born on a assembly line and issued pieces of paper to live by like the “ 100 things to do before ya die “ should you not also be given a list of the things you shouldn’t? And if so what should that list be made up of? So i figured i would give it a go….in saying this my belief is i should mention them as they come to my head and not in any particular order, and not to think on it to long as it messes the whole process up and becomes more what you think others would want to read and not what i believe so i am going to just let it flow and see how it comes out. I would love and appreciate any input on this list of things you would love to tell a new person entering the world not to do and i can add them later on. Anyways lets have a go, how hard can it be?

THE THINGS NOT TO DO WHILE YOUR HERE ON EARTH

•Never listen to others over your own gut instinct…… we have all had this happen, we get told to do something we know is just not right but we go with the flow and do it anyway…Why is that? Us being the super being that we are, we do not have the common sense to listen to that part of us that says “ no this is a bad idea” ? Listen to your gut instinct more, and more importantly take note of when it has been proven right as this will make you more in tune with trusting it in the future….

Never do to others that which you would not want done to yourself……we seem to live in a world now were its “only the brash and brave will succeed and he who has the most toys played dirty “ ummm how did we get here? At what point in our lives did we put “ do whatever it takes to win “, “cheat if you have to”, or do it to him before he does it to you philosophy take over from hard work and nose to the grind stone will take you to where you want to be? Is this truly what we believe? That taking the easy way by changing our morals and ethics or standards will give us the greater outcomes faster? How did we get this way? Watching TV as a youth and seeing that this kind of behaviour is acceptable to get where you want to be? I know i would be happier looking back on a life of hard work and determination instead of the people i have trodden on 

. Do as you want now as there is always tomorrow ……Ummm yet again, what a load of crap. To me its “ do the things now you would like to hear at your eulogy and not the things you know would make your loved ones embarrassed to hear” life’s to short , and the history books are full of great people who have done awesome things remembered for the few smaller things they regret. A moment of crazy can lead to a lot of pain for you and those you hold close.

• Take love for granted…… How easy is this done and overlooked? while we are out there achieving our goals and fortune we put our most valued asset at risk by poor maintenance or the belief it will always be there? How many of us have seen incredible amazing loves or marriages or friendships broken up due to selfish thoughts and believing “once i make it, then i can put the effort in and the relationship will be awesome”. Why or how could anyone believe that the loves in anyone’s life are not as important as the rest of the journey, and how could anyone not realise it is an ongoing process that needs care and nurturing ?There is a saying i have come to love , “ whatever does not grow dies” and this is so true not only of yourself but of your relationships, if you don’t do the ground work and nurturing to keep growing with that person then what hope is there of keeping the closeness and love alive?

• Never over look those who need help, to get to were you wanted to be...people have all sorts of beliefs they hold within themselves. For some its God, or Karma, or the Universe or simply science, “for every action there is a reaction”. Im not about to go into my beliefs here as i believe that to be wrong, but as i have stated before you need to in life stack the good against the bad and balance yourself out. I find it hard to believe any person no matter how big or strong or pig headed or self absorbed could walk past a child begging on the street in the freezing cold without at least giving some money, or assistance so why is it we put the blinders on for anyone else who have lost their way or fallen on hard times? Why is it the first excuse we make to ourselves or others “ at their age they have brought it on themselves” or “ they obviously deserve it” ? Do we honestly believe it? Does it make us warmer inside or better people to come to this conclusion? Why do we close ourselves of to these people or consider them a threat instead of a opportunity to help someone back up , or an opportunity to be better people and turn away from an experience to grow from? Never turn your back on those who need help or the opportunity to grow, you will sleep better and be happier.
• • Put others opinions of you or your belief over your own…. This i see all the time , people putting others down as they see them as a threat. A perfect example is you awake one day to realise your just not happy and its time to make a change, yet those around you are not happy and will not support those changes in the hope you will stay as you are….So why do they do that? Why do they not support you in something you KNOW you have to do? Well for you to understand this you need to understand the influence you have on those around you and how the smallest of changes can and does create a ripple effect that moves on to changes in others. And some don’t like the idea of change as change takes effort, some are happy going in day in day out living exactly the same. These are the challenges you face to see how important these changes are to you.
• • Never sell out your morals, ethics values or beliefs…..This is one that should go without saying but often in the game of life we get so lost in getting a head and moving forward that we do not notice the little ways we tweak the things we are born with until one day you hold yourself accountable and do a audit on how you have lived by your morals and ethics and standards ( this normally happens when things are going wrong ) only to find you have pretty much broken them down to adopt those of others. These codes are what you were born with ,or have taken on board as you grow up as you believe in them. These are a part of your make up , that which defines you as who you really are, they are nothings to be compromised at any cost. Yes you will be given challenges from situation or others in the pressure to adjust them, but really all this is, is life’s way of asking you to review your codes of conduct ( morals ethics, standards ) and how well you will stand by them or add to them. Remember Before i mentioned the ripple effect on others by the influences you show? Well the way you live by your morals, ethics, values and standards form the footprint you leave on this earth when your body has passed.
• Never lie to get ahead or accept lies within your life.……..Now this is a hard one for me as it is something i have accepted into my life and have come to do without thinking on occasion. How do we get to this point? Well i guess it starts from child hood and the influences we grew up around, parents having friends come over and have a happy time with, only to wait for them to leave and talk badly of them. Or we get told it is bad to lie BUT!!!! There is such a thing as a “little white lie” which is acceptable and everyone does it” so we start doing these, and as time goes by, and life goes on the white lies become bigger and a way of life to the degree we have something to say which is hard for us to say out loud as we are ashamed of it, or scared of what others will think of us so we manipulate the situation to change the outcome. When is a good time for a white lie? To protect others ? is what you are saying really protecting them? To advance in work or life ? Umm does this ever really work? And at what cost? To feel better about something you have done or help you live with what you have done? Oh come on how could anyone believe it is good to lie to one self? And by doing so, how long will it be before you are no longer who you were born to be? A lie does nothing more than breakdown the moral strength and then the soul of the person saying it and in turn break down the moral strength of society around us. Is this really the life and reality we want to raise our children in?

I think this is where i will leave this for the moment but i feel this is something i will be adding to from time to time. Sometimes the easiest way to know where you are going and how to get there is by clearly stating were you do not want to go or want to be. Please feel free to drop comments on this and ones you would add as i would love to read them.